Thursday, April 21, 2011

History

Shawna Steel didn't have a name until about a year ago.  I wanted to join Facebook so I had to come up with something.  Oh sure, I've been dressing up since I was a kid.  But I never bothered with a name.  I've been deleted off of FB twice now.  So this third time, I decided that I would just have to express my naughty side  somewhere else.  Perhaps a Blog.

I'm happily married.  Have been for a long time now...  My wife has always known that I dressed up.  But I never tried to throw it in her face either.  So she let me do my thing in private.  And we went on for many years that way.  Then I expressed to her that I would like her to be more of a Mistress to me.  I have always had dreams about being dominated by women...  We did that for a short time.  Then life got in the way.  And it stopped.

Then last year with Shawna getting a lot of attention from Facebook people things changed. She became more interested in the role of Mistress.  She started to understand the importance of me being Shawna.  I have to say that I always feel incredibly guilty about even introducing  being a Mistress, or bondage or dressing up.  Because my wife is a beautiful innocent southern girl.  And before me, never had any interest whatsoever in this life.  I feel that I have corrupted her.  It's true that many of us find the vanilla lifestyle so boring.  But lets face it.  There isn't anything wrong with being vanilla.

So we started playing games.  Dressing up together.  Bondage fun.

Some things that I've learned...  I actually feel more confused now than ever before... Let me explain.  I feel that my body goes in cycles.  There are times when I feel ultra feminine.  And there are times when I feel very masculine.  I always thought that I was extremely submissive.  But I have discovered that sometimes I like to dominate my wife.  Sexually I mean.  Our marriage is a 50/50 situation.  And I wouldn't want to change that.

But I don't know if there should be a progression into something more.  Or keep things the way they are.  Don't get me wrong I love bondage.  When we have a session, we both have mind blowing orgasms.  I mean to me, it doesn't get much better than that.

Then I read some of these FLR stories... It sounds like my dream come true.  But then I wonder if that would make me any more happy than I am now.  I'm not sure that it would.  Or maybe I'm scared to make that next step.  

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